4 am: I can feel a blog coming on

Debunking the theories of why I currently have difficulties writing (and sleeping)

My ability to spontaneously find the words to write seems to have gone missing at the moment, despite lots of potential artistic stimulation in my life. With a little help and much prompting, I am able to write something, but I have lost the creativity that formally found flowed very easily.

I take a pain killer/muscle relaxant for neuropathic pain three times a day and am beginning to wonder if it steals my creative self, as I only seem to find words on waking in the early morning, when I am in pain and in need of the next tablet. Just before 4am. That’s the time.

The Chinese Medicine Theory

A Google search reveals that physically, at 4am it’s my bladder meridian kicking in…

http://www.holisticbynature.com.au/2014/04/why-you-wake-up-at-the-same-time-every-night-pt-1/

The key responsibilities of this meridian are when to use resources or being controlling and being a water element, the notion of fear and anxiety about these issues. All of this makes sense on the light of my day to day life, but that does not solve the problem of the missing words!

The New Age Theory

Apparently around 4am is the time when spiritual connections are more easily made…

http://cauldronsandcupcakes.com/2012/09/08/the-connection-hour-or-why-do-i-keep-waking-up-in-the-middle-of-the-night/

But the first piece of advice in dealing with this is to drink some water, which really does not help the bladder problem! But at least the words that come are supposed to be some sort of channelling from spirit, so hopefully I am writing stuff that helps other people.

Most certainly when I was becoming aware of myself as a spiritual being some fifteen years ago, I was waking up at 4am every single night, but this broken sleep pattern was explained by my doctor as being due to several things happening simultaneously – the menopause and fibromyalgia being the main difficulties I was wrestling with.

The ‘It’s your age’ Theory

Now, at 61, apparently it is ‘my age’. The daft idea that older people do not need as much sleep needs revisiting – I am knackered the next day if I wake in the early hours – even if I do manage to get back to sleep.

The ‘Exercise will make you sleep’ Theory

The evenings when I have attended my yoga classes make things even worse – I cannot get to sleep easily afterwards – even though my body is tired, my mind seems to be stimulated, but there is no focus, I struggle to absorb written words on a page and if I watch TV, I seem to daydream through it, with no recollection of what I have watched when I finally turn off.

‘Zombified’

In fact this sense of being in a day dream is spreading through all of my life, like I am not quite here most of the time. I lose hours to I do not know what and yet, I seem to get some things done, but I do not know how, as I often do not remember doing them.

Is this the early onset of something sinister? Is my spiritual self doing the work and forgetting to notify my conscious self about it? Or is just a revisiting of chronic fatigue? Which means I should really sit in the chair and watch the clouds go by for a while without trying to do anything else until such time as I can work out a pacing schedule for my energies.

Any positive contributions to my thoughts on this matter would be appreciated. Message me.

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About starspeakman

Poet, Writer, healer, nature photographer
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